Reclaim Control Of Your Emotions

There is a story about a swimming pool salesman who was turned down after giving his best sales pitch to a client. ‘Thank-you’ he said, smiling broadly and obviously very happy.

‘Why are you so happy?’ asked the client. ‘I didn’t buy a pool from you.’ ‘That’s right,’ said the salesman. ‘But 1 out of every 10 people do. You were the 9th person to turn me down today, which means the next person I speak to will buy a pool from me.’

This salesman could have reacted differently and been despondent and depressed that he didn’t make the sale, which would also have affected his ability to make further sales.

Instead, he recognises that he is responsible for his own feelings and is able to manage his emotions effectively.

Emotional intelligence is a choice you make. You can allow an emotion to direct your actions and thoughts, or you can choose to direct your actions and thoughts in a different way using your awareness of the emotion.

(excerpt from my published book "Emotional Intelligence and Leadership" - 2007)

It's a simple thought for this post. How do you react when things aren't going quite the way you hope? Are you happy with this?

Take some time to think about how you react to different areas of your life. Which areas of your life have power over your emotions - the way you feel? If you're not happy with this ongoing relationship then you can change it.

When you are aware of your emotions you can begin to manage them. Make a different choice. Instead of being a slave to an emotion make a conscious choice to try something different.

Visualise something you really want, or just choose to to take a stand against the emotion you don't want. Create a phrase: "I see you there and I know what you want". Move it aside and replace it with a more desired emotion. Try it out. It takes practice. But don't give up too soon.

Reclaiming control over your emotions can literally change your life.

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town

Don't Freeze

This morning I read a note from Tony Robbins in which he says that while people are calling this time a financial crisis, it is also a psychological crisis. I guess it all comes back to the way that we respond to our money (or lack of it).

If you are running your own business you're likely to have noticed that companies you depended on are cutting back on expenses. The reason you've noticed is that your income is directly affected! So you fight harder to get what is owing to you, and start wondering what you need to do differently.

I don't think this is a time for doing more of what we've done before. Kurt Lewin wrote about the need to Unfreeze, to open our minds to change, before we can start doing anything differently. This is not easy as it feels much safer to carry on doing the things that have worked before.

This financial/psychological crisis is forcing many of us to consider change, in our business and in our personal lives. This really is a tremendous opportunity to move into a different future. Maybe this is a time to begin doing something you've known you need to do for a long time?

Don't ignore the call for change. Accept it, embrace it and then move forward with it in small steps if necessary. Work on unfreezing yourself first. The rest will follow.

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town