What's possible in your life?

If your heart was to stop beating medics might plunge a long needle into your heart to inject adrenalin and get it going again. Sometimes in life we just need that shot in the arm, or a kick on the backside to get us going.

I'm no medic. In fact it was 'Pulp Fiction' that reminded me of the adrenalin injection to the heart. Hardly ER or even Gray's Anatomy! I know that many of us reach a place of despondancy and hopelessness in our lives - when the way forward is not clear and the change that's needed is just too much. I know because I've been there. Drastic action is required. A shot of adrenalin to the heart.

When it's fear and uncertainty that stop us it's not adrenalin that's needed. It's inspiration. Inspiration - an interesting word that's defined as 'the act of breathing in'. Other words with the same sort of meaning include arousal, awakening, brainstorm, creativity, elevation, encouragement, enthusiasm, exaltation, illumination, impulse, incentive, insight, motivation, revelation, spark, stimulation, and vision. You get the idea.

I was recently introduced to a video of a musician by the name of Tony Melendez. In fact I'm not going to tell you about it. I'd rather you watched it yourself.



When you've seen the video you may want to find out more about Tony Melendez here (see his performance with the Pope!)

I've seen and heard many inspiring people before. I'm sure you have too. People who have endured great hardship and get to tell the tale. In this case the injection of inspiration includes a stimulant called 'hope'. When I see how other people live in the same world I inhabit, and find ways to make it work, it gives me hope that anything is possible. Even Elisabeth Kubler-Ross included hope in her five stage model of change. This hope is the belief that there will be a positive end to the change and that there is some meaning that will eventually be learned from the experience. Hope is essential in times of change. Hope can give us the inspiration that change in our life is possible. That life is possible.

And I'd far rather watch Tony Melendez than get a kick in the backside. Or a needle to my heart, thank you!

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town

Racial tolerance spreads

Before he won Survivor Fiji, I remember Earl Cole talking about his friendship with Yau-Man Chan. He was impressed that a black man and a Malaysian man could form such a close bond - an unlikely alliance in his world.

Our deepest beliefs about the world, about each other, about money, and about ourselves are all open to the possibility of change. Often it takes an event, like Survivor, to challenge our convictions. But if we open ourselves to the possibility that the way we understand the world is not the only way, then we open ourselves to endless possibilities.

A recent New York Times article caught my attention because of its focus on possibility. Race and cultural difference is always on the agenda in South Africa, and the spread of trust between races, rather than suspicion, is a challenging concept for change.

...mutual trust between members of different races can catch on just as quickly, and spread just as fast, as suspicion.

In some new studies, psychologists have been able to establish a close relationship between diverse pairs — black and white, Latino and Asian, black and Latino — in a matter of hours. That relationship immediately reduces conscious and unconscious bias in both people, and also significantly reduces prejudice toward the other group in each individual’s close friends.

This extended-contact effect, as it is called, travels like a benign virus through an entire peer group, counteracting subtle or not so subtle mistrust.

“It’s important to remember that implicit biases are out there, absolutely; but I think that that’s only half the story,” said Linda R. Tropp, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts. “With broader changes in the society at large, people can also become more willing to reach across racial boundaries, and that goes for both minorities and whites.”

Read the article here...

Change may happen slowly in our lives. And that's ok. We can open ourselves to the possibility of that change by focusing on what we want more of in our lives rather than on what we don't want. The most incredible possibilities are available if we open our minds to that possibility!

Mark Connelly - Change Mangagement Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town

Change quotes

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour, all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now".
Goethe

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town

Change has come to America

"It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America." Barack Obama said these words on Tuesday evening in Grant Park as he celebrated being elected president of the United States.

The message of Change, and the message of hope has been central to Obama's campaign. Just look at his website to get a glimpse of the power of this message.

Politicians promise change all the time - there's nothing new there. So from a political perspective we wait and allow American leaders the opportunity to create the change they talk about.

Giving people a reason to want change is a time honored technique in change management strategy. It's sometimes called the 'burning platform'. People will jump when there's good enough reason to do so. The George Bush era may have done this for many Americans. Anything is possible if we believe it is necessary.

Giving yourself a compelling reason is a great way to begin change. It helps put change into perspective. Start with a simple list. Draw 2 columns on a page. At the top of one column write "what I will gain if I make the change" and write a list of all the things you will gain from the change. At the top of the other column write "what I will lose if I don't make the change", and write that list. Make it painful. You must feel it.

Sometimes this is enough! Focusing on what you will gain from the change OR on what you stand to lose can be enough motivation. Personally I like to stick with the good stuff and be motivated by what I can gain.

Often though a "burning platform" can be just what we need to give us a push. What's your "burning platform"? Choose one or two points from your "what I will lose" list and set fire to them. NO! Not literally! Write them down and make another list, this time of the effects that losing this will have on you, your work life, your personal life, and the effect it will have on others. Are we getting hot?

So if you don't make a change and you stand to lose your car, the effects might include:

• Walking everywhere
  
• Relying on public transport
• Getting to work/meetings will be difficult; you'll be more stressed; even hot and smelly!
  
• You might be late for appointments; people may see you as unreliable; you could lose your job.
• No car for family shopping or family outings.

You get the idea I'm sure. Push it to the limit. Make it hurt. Make it really burn. This could give you the edge you need to make a decision and embrace change.

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town