After enjoying fame as a Depeche Mode lyric 'Get the balance right' has been the standard chant of Employee Assistance Programs and corporate wellbeing advisers since the 1990's. As organisations pushed harder and demanded more someone realised that Vitamin B12 injections weren't going to hack it on their own as the organisational Gummi Berry Juice.
To counter the effects of working 8 to 5 (commuting excluded) plus overtime to prove commitment, in a sick-air office with no windows, frazzled employees were told to get a life. Literally.
Not that it's bad advice. Actually it's quite good. Balance the stress of work with an equal measure of ...well, other stuff. Like family and fun and hobbies and exercise and time-out and beach walks and movies and friends and sport and...
People react badly when I tell them about this. Often they laugh at me. Then they get angry as they tell me about working from 8 to 5, the hour it takes them to get home (if they're lucky), and then the 2nd job of cooking food, doing homework, supper, baths and bed; putting on the washing, cleaning up, stroking the partner, stroking the pet, before finally crash landing in
bed ...to... prepare...the...body...to...get up at 5.30am to make the breakfast, make the lunches, peck the partner, peck the kids, smile politely at the other idiots using the road, and commute back to work, arriving just in time to pick up the brochure on work life balance (and get the B12 injection).
When the Bleep! is there time for work life balance?
I've met a lot of employees who ignore this advice - in hospitals and clinics. The word Burnout is usually somewhere in their medical file. It's then that they get it. They have to make changes to their lifestyle. It's like the light is switched on. Trouble is, just picking up the pieces to see if they fit together feels like a mammoth task.
Work life balance is an individual achievement. You do what's best for you. Don't wait until you are forced to make changes. Take responsibility now.
I've added essential work life balance information to my web pages, including Curly's Finger, my favourite guide to help you decide what's most important in your life. Take a moment and add a meaningful dimension to your life.
Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Life & Business Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Hope Is A Better Choice Than Fear
I've always struggled to tell people that they should think positively. It just doesn't seem to be very original. And it's a bit dismissive. Imagine consulting a professional with your woes and they turn to you and say "you've got to think positively". Yeah, right!
Don't get me wrong though. I do believe in the power of positive thought. It's just that I like to work with people to discover HOW to start thinking in this way, and then maintaining it.
It's so easy to find the problems, the negatives, the fears, the things that are wrong, and why it won't work. We're brought up to be problem solvers.
We think we're being positive when we say "Every problem has a solution". But we're not really. Mostly because we first have to focus on the problem, analyse it, and get to know it well, before we try and find something different. A solution.
Every cloud may have a silver lining, but we have to see the cloud first before we begin to search for the silver lining. And focusing on the cloud, or the problem, or the negativity inevitably affects what we find.
So, while acknowledging the existence of problems and negativity, learning to focus first on what is good and working well - the positive stuff - can really open up a new world of meaning.
We're not used to doing this, and we often dismiss the value of doing it. But we can learn to start by developing our self awareness, the first part of Emotional Intelligence.
Barbara Frederickson believes we're investing in our future by taking the time to learn "positivity". And she's not alone. There is a large and growing school of positive psychology supporting this thinking.
Take a moment now and listen to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, discussing her new book, "Positivity" that focuses on what positivity is. I haven't read it, and I don't get anything for directing you to this video. But I'm positive you'll get something new to think about!
Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Life & Business Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town
Don't get me wrong though. I do believe in the power of positive thought. It's just that I like to work with people to discover HOW to start thinking in this way, and then maintaining it.
It's so easy to find the problems, the negatives, the fears, the things that are wrong, and why it won't work. We're brought up to be problem solvers.
We think we're being positive when we say "Every problem has a solution". But we're not really. Mostly because we first have to focus on the problem, analyse it, and get to know it well, before we try and find something different. A solution.
Every cloud may have a silver lining, but we have to see the cloud first before we begin to search for the silver lining. And focusing on the cloud, or the problem, or the negativity inevitably affects what we find.
So, while acknowledging the existence of problems and negativity, learning to focus first on what is good and working well - the positive stuff - can really open up a new world of meaning.
We're not used to doing this, and we often dismiss the value of doing it. But we can learn to start by developing our self awareness, the first part of Emotional Intelligence.
Barbara Frederickson believes we're investing in our future by taking the time to learn "positivity". And she's not alone. There is a large and growing school of positive psychology supporting this thinking.
Take a moment now and listen to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, discussing her new book, "Positivity" that focuses on what positivity is. I haven't read it, and I don't get anything for directing you to this video. But I'm positive you'll get something new to think about!
Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Life & Business Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Good Things Don't Go Away
Remember some of those 80's songs that keep coming back to haunt you? I do. I loved them when they were new, and I smile when I hear them being sung by new bands. It's just more evidence that they knew how to write good music back then. And then I listen to new songs today and wonder which of them will be around in 25 years time. Which of these modern artists will still be strutting their stuff in 25 years time?
I think it's a sign of good things if they don't go away. Music, people, movies... some just hang around while others fade. It's the good bottles of red wine that I struggle to hang on to though. They have a nasty knack of disappearing way too quickly!
I've been spending some time with someone who finds himself fitting into this category. I've taken some time off and revisited an old classic that's as popular and relevant now as it was 20 years ago. You'd never believe it, but The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is 20 years old this year. I dusted it off and found myself 'listening' to an old classic that's just as good today.
Stephen Covey is still the author. It hasn't been remade new-school style. It's still the same tune. And it sounds as good today as it did many years ago.
The main points made in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are the compass we need when we are going through change. Be it personal or organizational change.
I do find Stephen Covey quite difficult to read at times. He does tend to go into a lot of detail and then I lose concentration. So I summarised the importants bits for myself and then decided to give it away on my website. You're welcome to read it through here. Maybe you'll think about reading the book again yourself.
You should. It's full of wisdom.
The good things don't go away.
Mark Connelly - Change Managment Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town
I think it's a sign of good things if they don't go away. Music, people, movies... some just hang around while others fade. It's the good bottles of red wine that I struggle to hang on to though. They have a nasty knack of disappearing way too quickly!
I've been spending some time with someone who finds himself fitting into this category. I've taken some time off and revisited an old classic that's as popular and relevant now as it was 20 years ago. You'd never believe it, but The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is 20 years old this year. I dusted it off and found myself 'listening' to an old classic that's just as good today.
Stephen Covey is still the author. It hasn't been remade new-school style. It's still the same tune. And it sounds as good today as it did many years ago.
The main points made in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are the compass we need when we are going through change. Be it personal or organizational change.
I do find Stephen Covey quite difficult to read at times. He does tend to go into a lot of detail and then I lose concentration. So I summarised the importants bits for myself and then decided to give it away on my website. You're welcome to read it through here. Maybe you'll think about reading the book again yourself.
You should. It's full of wisdom.
The good things don't go away.
Mark Connelly - Change Managment Coach, Business & Life Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town
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