Explore. Dream. Discover.

A literary minded client considering change in his life quoted Samuel Johnson the other evening:

"He is no wise man who will quit a certainty for an uncertainty." - Samuel Johnson

It makes sense doesn't it? Stick with what you know or be labeled a fool. That's enough to make you hesitate.

In a particularly explosive literary moment I countered with the following (actually I had to look it up on the Internet, but I had the jist of it):

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Two equally brilliant world views. One more inviting of change.

Have a great day.

Take control of your life

Fundamentals of Change.
When you know the fundamentals of change, and incorporate these into your world view, you are empowered to deal with and cope with change.

Coping with change begins with the way we understand what is happening. There is a wonderful concept known as the 'locus of control' that basically says we either believe that life happens to us, and we have little or no control over what happens, OR that we are in control of our lives, and the decisions we make and the actions we take affect what happens to us.

"Things happen to me" OR "I can influence what happens"

Where would you place yourself most of the time?

The problem with dealing with change when your world view is that life happens to you is that you end up feeling helpless, and a little bit like a victim. OK, a lot like a victim! There is very little you can do and so you accept your fate. Not happily though. Actually you're probably pretty grumpy. And Change is never a good thing.

Facing change believing that you can have an influence on what happens, or on your emotional reaction to the change, immediately puts you into a different frame of mind. The way to do this is to begin asking yourself questions. A question such as "How can I move through this change and learn from it?" or "What can I do to make this change work for me?" sets your brain looking for answers. That's why I love questions so much. They force you to look for answers. So as long as you are asking questions that bring you positive answers you are on your way.

Practice thinking about how you might benefit from times of change. I once read a book called "Under the Dragon's wing" by Lin Zimbler. She lived with Multiple Sclerosis and said this:

"For those who dare to brave the fearsomeness of the Dragon there is always a gift to be found under its wings. The courage to face the Dragon is commensurate with preciousness of the gift."

Lin Zimbler, in 1996, before her death.

There is always a gift to be found. Even in the hardest of times it is possible to look for ways you can grow. Taking this action puts you in control - not the change.

Fundamentals of Change

fun·da·men·tal (fnd-mntl)adj.

1.

a. Of or relating to the foundation or base; elementary.

b. Forming or serving as an essential component.

c. Of great significance or entailing major change.

Change of any kind is often a venture into the unknown. And it is this alone that causes many of us to hesitate, or even refuse, to move - choosing instead to hold on to what we already know. Fortunately, much is known about the process of change. This knowledge has been learned by those who have ventured forward before us and has often been learned the hard way, through experience and reflection. Although the territory of your journey will be different to mine, much is known about the map that we both hold. This knowledge is known as the fundamentals of change and is the subject of this series. When you know the fundamentals of change, and incorporate these into your world view, you are empowered to deal with and cope with change.

The intention behind the Fundamentals of Change series is to enable and empower you with important things you should know about change before you begin the journey. Let's begin.

Part 1 to follow

Believe and expect that you can change

There's nothing like an inspiring song to really get you going. And isn't it strange how years later you can listen to the song and feel the power of it all over again? I was a student in South Africa when Eddy Grant released Gimme Hope Joanna and I remember playing it loudly in my car (the best sound I had at the time was a tape deck installed in my car). South Africa was not an easy place politically at the end of the eighties and songs like this inspired me and gave me a belief that change was possible. The fact that I was unaware the song had been banned by the South African apartheid government and I was playing it liberally only makes it that much sweeter now!

It is not enough to just have facts about the change that lies ahead. To really connect with the changes we face there also has to be a strong belief and expectation that we can change. In other words there has to be hope. Often it is someone else who is able to give us the belief and expectation, the hope, that we can change. Eddy Grant sang about it and I believe that holding the hope that my clients are able to change is an essential part of my work. At times when things seem hope-less it is warming and inspiring to find someone who is hope-full. Someone who holds hope. For you.

You can develop hope-fullness for yourself by learning to notice what is working around you, rather than what is broken. Even in really difficult times, or when change is forced on you, it is possible to hold hope. This is done by exploring the different possibilities and choosing a way forward, and moving towards it with the belief and expectation that it can become a new reality.

Or, like me, discover and play a meaning-full song, one that inspires hope, and gets you through the tough hours.