Hope Is A Better Choice Than Fear

I've always struggled to tell people that they should think positively. It just doesn't seem to be very original. And it's a bit dismissive. Imagine consulting a professional with your woes and they turn to you and say "you've got to think positively". Yeah, right!

Don't get me wrong though. I do believe in the power of positive thought. It's just that I like to work with people to discover HOW to start thinking in this way, and then maintaining it.

It's so easy to find the problems, the negatives, the fears, the things that are wrong, and why it won't work. We're brought up to be problem solvers.

We think we're being positive when we say "Every problem has a solution". But we're not really. Mostly because we first have to focus on the problem, analyse it, and get to know it well, before we try and find something different. A solution.

Every cloud may have a silver lining, but we have to see the cloud first before we begin to search for the silver lining. And focusing on the cloud, or the problem, or the negativity inevitably affects what we find.

So, while acknowledging the existence of problems and negativity, learning to focus first on what is good and working well - the positive stuff - can really open up a new world of meaning.

We're not used to doing this, and we often dismiss the value of doing it. But we can learn to start by developing our self awareness, the first part of Emotional Intelligence.

Barbara Frederickson believes we're investing in our future by taking the time to learn "positivity". And she's not alone. There is a large and growing school of positive psychology supporting this thinking.

Take a moment now and listen to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, discussing her new book, "Positivity" that focuses on what positivity is. I haven't read it, and I don't get anything for directing you to this video. But I'm positive you'll get something new to think about!

Mark Connelly - Change Management Coach, Life & Business Coach, Psychologist - Cape Town