Take control of your life

Fundamentals of Change.
When you know the fundamentals of change, and incorporate these into your world view, you are empowered to deal with and cope with change.

Coping with change begins with the way we understand what is happening. There is a wonderful concept known as the 'locus of control' that basically says we either believe that life happens to us, and we have little or no control over what happens, OR that we are in control of our lives, and the decisions we make and the actions we take affect what happens to us.

"Things happen to me" OR "I can influence what happens"

Where would you place yourself most of the time?

The problem with dealing with change when your world view is that life happens to you is that you end up feeling helpless, and a little bit like a victim. OK, a lot like a victim! There is very little you can do and so you accept your fate. Not happily though. Actually you're probably pretty grumpy. And Change is never a good thing.

Facing change believing that you can have an influence on what happens, or on your emotional reaction to the change, immediately puts you into a different frame of mind. The way to do this is to begin asking yourself questions. A question such as "How can I move through this change and learn from it?" or "What can I do to make this change work for me?" sets your brain looking for answers. That's why I love questions so much. They force you to look for answers. So as long as you are asking questions that bring you positive answers you are on your way.

Practice thinking about how you might benefit from times of change. I once read a book called "Under the Dragon's wing" by Lin Zimbler. She lived with Multiple Sclerosis and said this:

"For those who dare to brave the fearsomeness of the Dragon there is always a gift to be found under its wings. The courage to face the Dragon is commensurate with preciousness of the gift."

Lin Zimbler, in 1996, before her death.

There is always a gift to be found. Even in the hardest of times it is possible to look for ways you can grow. Taking this action puts you in control - not the change.