Imagine laughter

It's understandable that you may be feeling gloomy these days. The world economy is turning and you may be feeling forced to make changes in lifestyle that you didn't predict. You are not alone!

Happiness may seem a distant memory, but the good news is that you can control the way you feel. Science is discovering evidence that shows we can change our feelings. In an article I recently read the simple act of imagining a different emotion triggers brain activity; and research indicates that imagining laughter reduces sadness. Wow! Here's an excerpt from the article:

In 2004, scientists at Bowling Green State University in Ohio tested for that path when they studied people's ability to control their own emotions. Using the same brain scanning technique as Davidson, the psychologists reported that even when people simply imagined emotions, their thoughts triggered mood-related neuronal activity.

When subjects imagined laughter, their left-brain "happiness" circuits were stimulated and they reported a reduction in sadness. When they imagined crying, their right-brain negative emotional circuits were triggered, and they reported a decrease in happiness.

While psychologists continue to try to nail down the causal relationships between mood and brain activity, what has become increasingly clear is that to some extent human beings can affect - even control - the plasticity of their own brains.

"Happiness researchers have learned a great deal about how people can become happier and stay happier," said U.C.-Riverside's Lyubomirsky. "Of course, I wouldn't call it "training our brains,' but training ourselves - that is, learning to practice certain ways of thinking and behaving, like expressing gratitude, following intrinsic life goals, practicing optimism, investing in relationships - all of which, we now have scientific evidence for, increase our happiness."

Read the full article here.

When we're feeling down and unhappy the hardest thing to do is think about changing our 'state' of mind. But it strikes me that this is an option that's easy to do. You don't even have to committ to making yourself happier. Try it now:

1. Imagine someone laughing for at least 15 seconds
   
2. Visualise what you see and hear
   
3. Honestly assess how you feel.
4. Do it again!
   

There's nothing wrong with feeling sad. Finding ways to move out of this whenever you can empowers you - and that might just feel good!

Change Quotes

"He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Fun-damental to Change

Fundamentals of change

Imagine for a moment that you were given a choice about how you could face your worst idea of change. Whoa! Hang on a minute. You don't need to imagine this - it's real. You do have a choice. Why choose to make your 'change' a dark and scary place that you fear to walk through when you could choose to turn it into a funfair? Ok, so I am asking you to use your imagination a little bit!

I would choose a funfair over that dark, scary place any day - wouldn't you? If you know you are facing a change ask yourself "How can I deal with this change AND have fun?" or "How can I deal with this change AND learn something new?" The answer does not come easily - this is hard work. In asking and answering this kind of question you are choosing a different experience of the change, instead of going into it blindly and expecting the worst.

Fundamental tip: find the fun in the change you are expecting. Make a funfair of it; lots to explore, lots to learn, some real fear - but a long lasting memory that you would buy a ticket to experience again.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

A literary minded client considering change in his life quoted Samuel Johnson the other evening:

"He is no wise man who will quit a certainty for an uncertainty." - Samuel Johnson

It makes sense doesn't it? Stick with what you know or be labeled a fool. That's enough to make you hesitate.

In a particularly explosive literary moment I countered with the following (actually I had to look it up on the Internet, but I had the jist of it):

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Two equally brilliant world views. One more inviting of change.

Have a great day.

Take control of your life

Fundamentals of Change.
When you know the fundamentals of change, and incorporate these into your world view, you are empowered to deal with and cope with change.

Coping with change begins with the way we understand what is happening. There is a wonderful concept known as the 'locus of control' that basically says we either believe that life happens to us, and we have little or no control over what happens, OR that we are in control of our lives, and the decisions we make and the actions we take affect what happens to us.

"Things happen to me" OR "I can influence what happens"

Where would you place yourself most of the time?

The problem with dealing with change when your world view is that life happens to you is that you end up feeling helpless, and a little bit like a victim. OK, a lot like a victim! There is very little you can do and so you accept your fate. Not happily though. Actually you're probably pretty grumpy. And Change is never a good thing.

Facing change believing that you can have an influence on what happens, or on your emotional reaction to the change, immediately puts you into a different frame of mind. The way to do this is to begin asking yourself questions. A question such as "How can I move through this change and learn from it?" or "What can I do to make this change work for me?" sets your brain looking for answers. That's why I love questions so much. They force you to look for answers. So as long as you are asking questions that bring you positive answers you are on your way.

Practice thinking about how you might benefit from times of change. I once read a book called "Under the Dragon's wing" by Lin Zimbler. She lived with Multiple Sclerosis and said this:

"For those who dare to brave the fearsomeness of the Dragon there is always a gift to be found under its wings. The courage to face the Dragon is commensurate with preciousness of the gift."

Lin Zimbler, in 1996, before her death.

There is always a gift to be found. Even in the hardest of times it is possible to look for ways you can grow. Taking this action puts you in control - not the change.

Fundamentals of Change

fun·da·men·tal (fnd-mntl)adj.

1.

a. Of or relating to the foundation or base; elementary.

b. Forming or serving as an essential component.

c. Of great significance or entailing major change.

Change of any kind is often a venture into the unknown. And it is this alone that causes many of us to hesitate, or even refuse, to move - choosing instead to hold on to what we already know. Fortunately, much is known about the process of change. This knowledge has been learned by those who have ventured forward before us and has often been learned the hard way, through experience and reflection. Although the territory of your journey will be different to mine, much is known about the map that we both hold. This knowledge is known as the fundamentals of change and is the subject of this series. When you know the fundamentals of change, and incorporate these into your world view, you are empowered to deal with and cope with change.

The intention behind the Fundamentals of Change series is to enable and empower you with important things you should know about change before you begin the journey. Let's begin.

Part 1 to follow

Believe and expect that you can change

There's nothing like an inspiring song to really get you going. And isn't it strange how years later you can listen to the song and feel the power of it all over again? I was a student in South Africa when Eddy Grant released Gimme Hope Joanna and I remember playing it loudly in my car (the best sound I had at the time was a tape deck installed in my car). South Africa was not an easy place politically at the end of the eighties and songs like this inspired me and gave me a belief that change was possible. The fact that I was unaware the song had been banned by the South African apartheid government and I was playing it liberally only makes it that much sweeter now!

It is not enough to just have facts about the change that lies ahead. To really connect with the changes we face there also has to be a strong belief and expectation that we can change. In other words there has to be hope. Often it is someone else who is able to give us the belief and expectation, the hope, that we can change. Eddy Grant sang about it and I believe that holding the hope that my clients are able to change is an essential part of my work. At times when things seem hope-less it is warming and inspiring to find someone who is hope-full. Someone who holds hope. For you.

You can develop hope-fullness for yourself by learning to notice what is working around you, rather than what is broken. Even in really difficult times, or when change is forced on you, it is possible to hold hope. This is done by exploring the different possibilities and choosing a way forward, and moving towards it with the belief and expectation that it can become a new reality.

Or, like me, discover and play a meaning-full song, one that inspires hope, and gets you through the tough hours.